It's been one year since we announced we were having not one, but three babies

A year ago today, Jay and I announced to our world that we were not only expecting, but expecting triplets.

After suffering a miscarriage almost 5 years prior and knowing the risks of a triplet pregnancy, we waited until the babies were just about halfway cooked before sharing our news outside of immediate family. Despite feeling extremely fortunate for everything I have experienced in life, I tend er on the side of caution, preparing myself for the worst in fear of disappointment. I really don’t like the unknown and feel every let down hard, so I protect myself by assuming the worst. This quality hinders my happiness in the moment, but delays the gratification for later if it happens to work out. And if it doesn’t? I guess I could say I saw it coming. ⁣

We left our very first high risk appointment in tears after my OB broke down all of the statistic and risks if we went through with the pregnancy. The pregnancy that was already my biggest fear. The pregnancy that was my biggest unknown with not only getting to bring 3 babies home from the hospital, but surviving life with extra lives I didn’t actually plan for, and the financial/emotional strain that would sure come with that.

The pregnancy I was too afraid to announce to the world because it could all be taken away in an instant, and that was a let down I wasn’t sure I’d ever recover from. 

Amidst all of this fear, every week was a milestone - a small victory - as we worked our way out of that “danger zone” and got closer to viability. ⁣
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These photos will forever be a reminder of the time I knew, in my heart, that everything - our everything - were going to be okay.⁣