The #JanakSwarm

Our contractor was finally able to pull the building permit this week - just in time for the announcement of the spontaneous triplets Jay and I found out we were having.

Those who know me well know I have planned every part of my life and finances down to an exact science. I am not one for settling, and I’m willing to either put in the work or wait however long it takes to ensure I’m getting exactly what I want (see: 3 years of waiting on our house to start).

My life plan, later adding Jay into the equation, was to pay off my student loan debt (done), get married (done), buy a house (kinda done), save a significant amount of money in preparation for a child, have one child (MAYBE a second no sooner than 4 years after the first), and continue funding our emergency fund, homestead, family vacations, and other financial goals that would pay down our mortgage quickly and set us up for a life without struggle.

I always thought I was smart for wanting one child because I knew it would not only be easier to manage while still fulfilling our homesteading goals, but easier on our finances as well - thus allowing us to give this one child unforgettable experiences and a leg up into adulthood.

Then life slapped us in the face with probably the MOST unexpected surprise of completely spontaneous triplets.

To say I didn’t take the news well is an understatement. Instead of being overjoyed with what was supposed to be my one, perfect baby that would make our family complete, I was burdened with thoughts of future financial and emotional struggles. How will we fit 3 car seats into my Camry to avoid having a new car payment? How will I ever fully fund the college tuitions of 3 kids? Our medical bills are going to be insane for the rest of our lives. How will we afford sports and activities for 3 kids? We'll never get to travel and show them the world. We will meet our $6,000 OOP now for the birth and NICU stay. Food bills and car insurance when they're teens will put us in the poor house. What if we don’t finish our house in time and we are trapped with 3 newborns and a team of people in a 500 sqft house? Will our marriage survive this? And how will I ever love 3 babies with all of my being?

This was not the life I planned and pictured for us. I was being robbed of a birthing experience, alone time spent with my husband and our new baby in our new home, and most of all the perfect plan I had worked so hard to set us up for.

Slowly, though, I started picturing three toddlers in bee suits and muck boots, teetering down the 900’ tree lined driveway to the beehive in that silly way toddlers run. I started picturing our two boys “helping” daddy build the chicken coop, clumsily handing him the wrong tools while he so patiently answers their 64,000 questions. I pictured our fearless little girl with the scraped up knees finding herself at home, up a tree, like her mama; reading a book like daddy. I could see those three babies, as kids, running barefoot and wild in our 6 acre forest as they played tag and hide-and-seek. I could hear the sounds of the kitchen screen door slamming and endless belly laughs as they ran their way outside on a warm summer morning. I could picture all three of them sitting at the high tops of our big kitchen island, dirt-covered feet and legs dangling as they scarfed down sandwiches in an effort to quickly resume their day of play. I pictured family backyard campouts under the stars and endless walks through the power lines at sunset.

I started to be less angry and fall in love with them more as each day progressed, concerned for their wellbeing at every appointment and finding joy in the adaptations I started to make to that perfect life plan of mine.

And before long, I couldn’t picture our life without them.  

All photos by Jessica Lynch Photography .